|Submited on :||Sat, 23rd of Mar 2019 - 01:29:17 AM|
|Post ID :||b4dah9|
|Post Name :||t3_b4dah9|
|Post Type :||link|
|Subreddit Type :||public|
|Subreddit ID :||t5_2qh33|
"Went on a school trip to an orchard"
"Delivery truck was painted orange"
"Watched a documentary on mangos"
"Rumors of raspberries"
"The tasteless parts of an orange flavored"
"A piece of fruit fell into an Olympic sized pool and we canned the water"
Sipping water while pressing your forehead to that of someone who once tasted a banana.
ate a cherry & burped two hours later
Someone ate a strawberry, then sneezed in your mouth
La Croix is like drinking the memory of a flavor.
Isn’t one of the popular homeopathic medicines some shit that was near a duck
That'd be the Oscillococcinum, aka, mashed up duck liver/heart dissolved in water (at a ratio of 1 part duck offal to 10400 parts water).
It's supposed to cure the flu.
All water has the memory of every poop that ever existed
A man who was prescribed a homeopathic sleep aid recently died of an overdose.
He forgot to take his medicine.
No man. It’s cleary flu-curing mashed duckwater
I am genuinely impressed about just how shitty the logic behind that medicine is. I could not come with a process that makes less sense if I tried, TBH. First, there are the basic premises of homeopathy
Defenders of homeopathy try to explain the second point with this "water memory" bullshit, but even if that was true (it isn't), it would still completely fail to explain why the active ingredient should work in the first place regardless the dilution.
But the list goes on:
So they use shitty pseudo-science that does not work, and even if did work, their medicine would be shitty because they can't be assed to actually measure their ingredients. But wait, there's more!
It's seriously fucking brilliant. Let's take a germ that does not exist from an animal in which it was never found (not even allegedly), surely we can brew a medicine out of that!
10400 parts water
To put that in perspective, there are about 1080 atoms in the observable universe.
I know it's bullshit, but they don't seriously say 10400 do they? Is there enough water on earth to properly dilute 1 milligram of poop at that ratio?
They do serial dilutions. Take a solution, aliquot out some amount (like 1mL), dilute at a ratio of 1:100. Aliquot out a mL of that solution, dilute at a 1:100 ratio. Repeat. After 200 dilutions and around 20L of solvent, you end up with 100mL of 10400 homeopathic bullshit.
There are about 1080 atoms in the observable universe. The universe would need to be 10320 times larger to contain a single molecule of mashed up duck at that dilution.
So technically it's BS, but mathematically it's still valid.
1:10400 seems to be 200C on the scale used for homeopathy, so it seems like it's something that is actually said.
Estimates say there's about 1080 particles in the universe. Not only is there not enough water to dilute 1 milligram of poop, there isn't enough observable universe to dilute a single particle of it at that ratio. They just keep moving water around until it hypothetically would be that diluted if substances were infinitely divisible (when really by that point it's likely all the particles are gone).
Let's say poop is mostly Carbon.
1mg / (12 g / mol) x 6.0x1023 /mol = 5x1019
So after ten 1 to 100 dilutions you're under one particle and every "draw" after that point has to include the particle to qualify as a dilution instead of just water.
Not to mention, I doubt homeopaths have access to clean rooms and pure water, so who knows how many poop particles simply floating around are contaminating things.
You add a quantity to water, mix it, take some of that add it to fresh water, etc etc.
Oh yeah. My gf once gave me a thing of that and I looked it up and I was completely wtf this garbage
You could fill an entire visible universe with it and you'll THEN have a chance to find a substance that is supposed to heal you
It's like what juice tastes like to a ghost.
This is quite the perfect description of La Croix and other sparkling waters.
the walmart brand ones are really good. apple, black cherry, strawberry, and orange cream are good. don't know about other flavors
My boyfriend and I love the Clear American brand. The lemon and key lime (two separate flavors) are our favorites and taste like Sprite but better. I also found a WinCo brand peach flavor that tastes sooo good!
I like the stuff, but I honestly write it on my shopping list as "ghost farts", so cheers to the person who finds the next list I drop.
You just drop your shopping list on the ground when you're done with it?
Probably doesn't even put the cart back either
Parks directly in front of the entrance, in that no-stopping zone. Leaves car running because it's a chilly 51° outside. Rat-dog wheeze-barking at you as you walk by. 'In GOD we trust!' bumper sticker.
Takes the cart back out with them for the 1 bag of stuff they bought. Leaves the cart in the road.
the subtle hint of a sensation
Like I make a martini: six parts gin, one moment of silence for the vermouth.
Coconut: packaged near a 1993 calendar of Hawaii.
I’ve had that flavor and it went like this.
Drinking: no taste, nothing.
20 seconds later - burp - “that tasted like a person eating coconut burped into my mouth”
This one is my favorite! I wish I could give you a silver at least. I'll just look at your username and think of the color grey.
Edit: Thank you, anonymous benefactor. I feel like it's the perfect reward for a La Croix joke.
I see that you've invented a new LaCroix flavor. Well done.
The other day I overheard someone saying that they gave up drinking LaCroix because they thought it was dangerous. They said (in a totally straight face) that if you took it and poured it on wood, then let it dry, the wood was now flammable and would catch fire if you lit it.
Wood is always flammable
So is spaghetti until it gets wet
Its like drinking the ghost of a lemon
I feel like I stumbled upon a secret cult.
Am I the bad person for liking this drink?
I love these (and other brands). It started when I had to cut sugars out of my diet, and now I prefer sparkling water to soda by far.
I'm in the process of doing the same thing (mostly cutting soda) and have been trying different flavors of various sparkling waters I can find at my local grocery stores. Currently Peach-Pear LaCroix is my favorite. Not going to lie, it's a struggle making it through some of them though.
Any suggestions for flavors/brands? I judge less on type of flavor and more on just the presence of flavor in every sip.
edit Thanks for the suggestions folks!
edit2 Lol over 50 suggestions this is great
Meijer 'Crystal Quenchers' brand, black cherry flavor. It's the only good one. I buy these to keep at work so I don't chug Pepsi all day. I remember Clearly Canadian from when I was a kid but I am not sure they make those anymore.
Clearly Canadian made a comeback but there only slightly better than regular pop at 25g sugar/bottle.
Wal-mart sells "Clear American" for 60 cents per liter (at least where I am). 0 sugar, 0 calories. I like the citrus flavored ones, like Key Lime and Mandarin Orange, but they have lots of different flavors
I dunno, I find that pretty much any brand of seltzer tastes about the same. The real difference comes not in the flavor, but the amount of carbonation. It's not real seltzer unless it hurts to drink.
I think you're supposed to dissolve that alka-seltzer tablet in water, not swallow it whole
Try Topo Chico sometime if you haven't already, it makes you feel like you're being tazed
I like the LaCroix Key Lime and Grapefruit. They have the most flavor, in my opinion. It has to be Key Lime, though, not regular lime.
Just tried the key lime recently. It is fantastic. Hands down the best one.
Peach pear is great, my wife and i are also enjoying the passion fruit.
Sparkling waters are amazing. It has the carbonation and just enough flavor to be interesting but still you’re getting pretty much nothing unhealthy whatsoever.
Soda takes like syrup to me now and I save all my liquid calories for beer so it’s pretty much these or straight water.
I ran out of sparkling waters a couple nights ago but I had a couple ginger ales sitting in the crisper so I thought, hey, why not have a little treat like back in the good old days. I was shocked out at how thick and syrupy and just overwhelmingly sweet it was.
Honestly, I don't understand the bad rep. I don't think there's anything better than the moment you come home, after a bumper-to-bumper traffic commute, crack open a coconut LaCroix and pouring it directly into your toilet.
EDIT: Double Gold! Holy Passionfruit LaCroix!
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie
If this actually was your life. And it actually did make you happy to do this. Imagine the feeling of coming home after the long commute just waiting to pour that can. And realizing you forgot to pick up another case. Now you begrudgingly drag yourself to the store back out through traffic and the mobs of people just to get to the store. Patiently wait in line and inch your way back home. Finally drop the case on the floor of the bathroom and bask in the crisp cool refreshing sound of the pop as you crack open the can and you finally pour it down the toilet.
And then you wake up the next morning, and realize that you left the case out all night. Now you have to get a glass, add ice, pour in the LaCroix, and wait for it to properly cool before your morning LaCroix dumping. What a waste of good ice! Next time you gotta remember to put the case in the fridge.
Also, when did you start dumping LaCoix in the mornings? And on a workday? You gotta pull yourself together, man. It was all fun and games in your 20's, but things are different now. You have a wife and kids. You have responsibilities.
Your wife knows you like to crack open a cold one every now and then, but what would she do if she walked in on you right now. Covered in syrup, and surrounded by empty cans, your eyes bloodshot from all the carbonation? She'd leave your sorry ass. Just think of the example you're setting for your kids.
Warm coconut LaCroix literally tastes like vomit.
I am a very large fan of Berry, Apricot, and Passionfruit, but Coconut got ruined for me after tasting it warm.
While drinking an icy cold beer.
I lack the resources, but you deserve gold for this one buddy. Here, have a reddit bagel! 🥯
It helped me get off of soda. You still get that tingly carbonated feel with none of the sugar.
Lol it’s a great drink I love it. Just a lil extra up from water, but nowhere near soda. And that’s the thing, do people expect soda?? It’s flavored seltzer water. It’s supposed to be water.
After my transplant surgery the Prednisone made everything taste weird as hell, and somehow that included water. I can't describe it, it was just off. I was also sensitive to sweet things, but la Croix was perfect. I drank regular water, too, but I felt like I lived off that stuff for three months until I was off that medication m
Still more flavor than Coors Light.
People don’t understand sparkling water. They just want soda
Literally this. If you put a bunch of sugar in there, it would also taste much stronger.
Nah, I like the subtle flavor.
I don't get the hate either, I love these things.
That said, yeah, we're bad people.
As a bad person, I fucking LOVE this stuff.
Peoples taste buds are so cracked out frim drinking soda and shit they cant enjoy anything subtle
I drink them to replace soda... I sometimes find it odd that I have to justify $0.40 a can because it doesn’t have 40g of sugar.
Like the only reason you would spend that much is because the ‘value’ is contained in the amount of sugar it has.
You can get off brand flavored seltzer water.
The store brand is usually $3 for a 12 pack. It also comes in 2L, usually for like $1.50.
Missed some of my favorites:
Empty Tupperware that previously contained apple slices.
wOAH there, that's getting risky. You might actually have flavor at that point!
The description of coconut by a man who tasted one 30 years ago.
Apple floating in lake Superior.
A kiwi being sliced 35 miles away.
Some of my best friends are mangos
"Tastes like someone yelling 'strawberry' from down the hall"
La Croix is basically a Rorschach test for your mouth. You can sort of tell what it’s supposed to be, but your brain sits and judgily writes down what your mouth says the flavor is.
It's actually just plain sparkling water, but they tell you there's a flavor and your brain makes up the rest.
"How would you like your steak cooked Sir/Ma'am?"
"Tell the cow about the thing we call 'fire.' Nothing more."
"MMmmmm, yes, excellent choice."
"Knock it over the head and drag it through a warm room."
I love these kinds of water, but that made me laugh
The taste of someone eating a piece of fruit, then burping into a glass of water and handing it to you to drink.
I just bought a case of shy watermelon 😂
I actually really like La Croix but the other day I opened one that was in a defective can and had lost its fizz and it tasted like I threw up a daiquiri from the night before
I actually really like La Croix
daiquiri from the night before
Story checks out.
God I’m a next level La Croix addict. I drink them flat all the time...even coconut. Nectar of the gods
Have never had these before but the descriptions were so great I could almost taste it
I could almost taste it
I don't know, it sounds like you've had them before
Man I don't know. At one point I agreed strongly with this, that LaCroix just tasted like carbonated water.
Then I started cutting soda more out of my diet, one diet soda a day instead of 2-3. And suddenly Lacroix's flavors actually grew pretty strong, to the point where I really didn't like some flavors at all.
Same. If you don’t drink soda for a while, your taste bud shift back to a normal expectation of sweetness. Everyone’s complaining about ‘flavor’ but what they really aren’t tasting is the 40 grams of sugar in one can of soda.
It tastes like TV static.
My favorite was from some comedian: someone shouted the name of the fruit into the can and quickly sealed the lid
"The metal from this can, used to be a spoon that was once used to eat a fruit salad"
Haunted by the memory of a clementine
I took a tour of their factory, it's really interesting how they flavor the water. In one room the water is infused with carbon dioxide to provide the carbonation, in the next room a worker quietly whispers the flavor they are making. Then they fill the cans, box them up and ship them to your store.
I love it. I love the flavor of sparkling water. It's also great to have an aftertaste of a fruit. My favorite is the coconut
Half a kool-aid packet in quart of water unstirred with no sugar added
My favorite is "like drinking water while someone in another room yells the name of a fruit."
"Burped after eating a green jolly rancher"
Tastes like your foot feel asleep.
Message brought to you by, CocaCola.
I've never had La Croix but thanks to this thread I know exactly what it tastes like.
Someone in the next room might be eating a grapefruit.
It tastes like the water they used to wash the fruit with.
My favorite flavor is Strawbarely
It's funny, but seriously, but this is like people who drink ocean water who then say soup doesn't have any flavor because it doesn't have enough salt
It's crazy how sugary drinks change your perception of flavor.
Give up pop and other sweetened drinks for a few months and then see how a La Croix tastes
Polar Seltzer #1 always and forever
Huh. I absolutely love la Croix coconut and feel they all have plenty of flavor. But then again, I have to water down actual juice to 1/3 strength to enjoy it.
It's like people are figuring out what sugar in sodas actually does.
Honestly. I don’t drink soda and La Croix has a pretty vivid flavor for me. I guess all these people are used to artificial flavors with 46g of sugar in their drinks.
“Breathed in the same room as someone who ate an apple yesterday.”
“Someone who ate mango burped on this”
And finally, “bludgeoned by a coconut”
La Crox doesn't make a Banana flavor, that top one is transported in a truck near lemons.
"single skittle dissolved in water" would still have more calories than a La Croix Passionfruit
At the LaCroix production plant, they can carbonated water.
The Meister of Flavors, a top hat donning and curly mustached man, simply announces the flavor.
Conspiracy theory: none of these drinks are flavored and your brain is filling in the missing information.
Someone shouted "Lime" in the warehouse.
It’s doing it’s fucking best okay
An uber driver I had said he also worked for La Croix and said most people hate it cause they're drinking it wrong. Apparently it has to be icy.
"someone is cutting apple slices in the room next to you"
Say what you like, but their unflavored seltzer is the cheapest available and it's not disappointing in any way.
It tastes a lot better when you don’t eat sugar regularly. 😉 coconut is my favorite so far
Whisper water. Passion fruit
This stuff was magic for quitting soda and other sugary drinks. My Old Man switched to it when he had to quit drinking alcohol. It honestly makes for a great analog.
Also it’s good for your teeth.
It’s also great with alcohol
I like it
My favorite was always, "ate a fruit salad then belched into a glass of water"
Someone yelling "STRAWBERRY" from across the street
Skittle one went too far, I'd imagine that would taste like something
faint whiff of mango fart
Honestly though, your taste buds are fucked if you can’t taste the flavor in la Croix of Perrier. Take it from a guy who drank 7-8 sodas a day and now only drinks water.
Dude those are dope tho. Can't belive I used to drink soda.
Best one I've seen "Tastes like someone ate an orange and then burped into my water bottle"
I love LaCroix. Only if it's Remy.
"Someone in the next room yelled "Orange""
The flavor is like when you think you’ve caught a glimpse of a lime out of the corner of your eye and you were going to look to make sure, but decided not to...
I feel personally attacked
"whispered the name of a fruit next to water"