|Submited on :||Wed, 15th of May 2019 - 10:52:32 AM|
|Post ID :||bosdr0|
|Post Name :||t3_bosdr0|
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|Subreddit Type :||public|
|Subreddit ID :||t5_3kvtt|
If this guy is really getting married then why is he still complaining on incel fourms?
He's still a virgin. And he thinks he is giving advice.
If you think an arranged marriage is easy and you get just for having a penis, he's so wrong. The girl's parents are not going to give her up unless he's successful and handsome, being a basement dweller and shitposter doesn't fit anywhere near that criteria.
This is what I don’t get about how they want arranged marriages and girls to be their fathers property. Like dude, you’ve got a better chance of convincing some naive girl with low self esteem to date you than you do convincing her father.
In places like the US, people looked for money, they wanted the person to be religious, an active member of the community, able to provide for their daughter and future grandkids etc. Incels would have it real damn hard. Especially if they went the Islam route, since I’m pretty sure that allows multiple wives and concubines therefore Chad can now marry and fuck multiple women leaving even less for them.
I believe most muslims in the US are monogamous
And don’t arranged marriages also rely heavily on whether the two actually like each other and want to get married?
At least the modern approach?
I've heard that referred to as "assisted marriage". Like, your parents and their parents think you'd make a good match, so they introduce you to each other with the very strong hope that you'll approve, but if you don't it's okay. Some of the more modern and liberal families seem to handle it that way.
They fail to realize that even in the most dystopian patriarchal shitholes, they still lose out.
Look in the right places you can get a girl to marry you just for your American visa
Of course looks matter. They just don’t matter nearly as much as incels say, and they’re not the only thing that matters.
No, since he‘s talking about arranged marriage. It‘s a big difference whether the girl can choose a partner herself based on whatever she is attracted to, or the parents pick someone who fits their own criteria.
You thought wrong. "Looks don't matter" is a purposeful misinterpretation of this sub's advice created by incels to excuse never having to listen to said advice. What this sub actually says is, "looks aren't close to the only thing that matters and, for a lot of women, looks matter less than personality or confidence or any number of other factors."
No one has ever said looks don’t matter. What is being said is that unattractive men do find relationships. Yes, even when young. And yes, even casual ones. But they actually have to be enjoyable company for that. You can’t be a miserable sad sack with no friends or social skills and expect anyone to like you.
So avoid the vast majority of the entire ummah?
Avoid 90% of the Muslims, but 10% of a billion + people is still hundreds of millions of people. Shias do have a healthier view concerning sexuality due to the temporary marriage contract though.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not downplaying the sheer number of Shia Muslims in the world, but it just sounds strange to say "avoid sunnis" altogether. I mean, sure, there's a history of conflict between the two denominations, but how do you go on a hajj if you're making an effort to avoid the larger denomination.
I'm reading too much into this, I know.
He just worded it badly. He more than likely was referring to avoiding the ideology of Sunnis and not the people. Growing up Sunni I used to think how insane Shias were cutting themselves on Muharram. Similarly if he grew up a Shia he probably has some pre held views about Sunnis. Both groups are pretty crazy.
Shias do a lot of weird stuff since they dont have enough authentic narrations. 9/10 narrations from the Prophet PBUH in their books have an unknown transmitter in the chain, so they have to make stuff up
Fun fact, cutting themselves up and slapping their chests is because back when the Shia were simply a political denomination they were responsible for the death of one of their Imams. Ever since then they do this as a show of regret. How ironic they call Sunnis the bad guys when they were the ones who got their Imam killed in the first place
Not an expert but werent they originally called bad guys because they accepted the usurpation of Muhammad`s monarchic-type successor Khalif Ali and changed it so that anybody could be Khalif instead of Muhammad`s family?
I think i get what you’re saying. The Shia believe that only people from the Prophet’s family can lead the Ummah because they are infallible apparently. The people of Kufa near Karbala were the first Shia, specifically the Shia of Ali RA, however at this point they were only a political sect. The differences in theology came later particularly after the death of Ali’s son, Hussain RA. As for Sunnis, the Caliph does not have to be from the Prophet’s family and do not believe that infallibility can be attributed to anyone except Allah. They just didnt agree with the decision that Ali RA wasnt Caliph which is why the first 3 Caliphs hold no respect within the Shia tradition to this day. Hope that answers your question
Also the first 4 caliphs were not actually monarchs; the Prophet is known to have said that there would be 4 rightly guided Caliphs (that would rule for 30 years) followed by a monarchy so he makes the distinction
Thanks a lot for your reply, that clears things up. But: Why were they arguing over Abu Bakr or Ali? Why did it matter who was "more" rightful? (According to Wikipedia) - They were both of family of Muhammad in my understanding and Ali succeeded Abu Bakr.
No no you have it wrong. Abu Bakr was a very close friend and companion of Muhammad PBUH and was the father of the Prophet’s wife Aisha RA, so they were not related by blood. As for Ali RA, he was the prophet’s cousin through the Prophet’s uncle Abu Talib, making him a blood relative
I see, so choosing Abu Bakr as legitimate successor means that Ali shouldn't have had to rule, theoretically
Strange. Their marriage practice of Mutah is often viewed as prostitution; you pay a certain amount to the family for a temporary marriage. I dont see how thats healthy at all
That's the Saudi interpretation of a pleasure marriage, anyway. And pretty much how their venal princelings approach it in the Third(er) world.
Pleasure marriage under the Shi'a tradition is a formal legal compact that has a definite terminus. That's it. You aren't allowed to buy your way into it according to the actual theology.
Actually even several Shia scholars in religious books have agreed that it is Zina/fornication, so its definitely not a black and white situation
Of course some Shi'a do.
Just like scholars in many theologies have many interpretations. But the element of prostitution- apart from Zina- is largely an impression generated by Saudi predators and their one-night "Mutah" for a fistful of Riyals.
I had Muslim and Hindu friends explain arranged marriage once, at least how it works in the UK and I’m presuming US. I’ve also seen a documentary on it.
Whilst the stereotype of marrying an old dude you’ve never met before definitely does exist, it seems that a lot of places have moved away from that.
Arranged marriage is a bit like online dating, but irl. You go to an agent with your parents and tell him what you’re looking for in a man/woman. He’ll then find you a match. Then you’ll meet your potential spouse and decide if you like them. If you do, you’ll go on some dates and such. If you like them, and if your parents like them (and if they like you) then boom, sorted, arranges marriage.
That’s why I think this post is bullshit, because I’ve met different people from different religions and regions who have family who’ve had arranged marriages and are going to have one themselves who do it this way, and I live in the UK. I’m going to assume things also work this way in the US, I know in parts of India they also work this way, but im also pretty sure parts of India have the more ‘traditional’ arranged marriage set up.
Seems unlikely that this is the case for the dude if he’s living in the US - he’d have to convince her parents he isn’t a worthless shithead, not just her. And they would have to get on for her to agree to it.
I sincerely hope he is lying. Please let the original OP be a liar.
I've known Muslims who have had arranged marriages and "arranged" marriages. Some of the time, it's just like what the cliché is: You legitimately have no fucking control over it, and either you marry or you're out of the family, so fuck you and all your hopes and prospects. They usually try to snare people when they're just at marriageable age so they lack any independence and have been reared in a closed household without knowing there are alternatives.
Other "arranged" marriages are just families satisfying tradition by bothering with all the rituals ex post facto when the children have already met, probably decided to get married after they've been dating, and want to have elaborate ceremonies.
You're right about the weird matchmaking services, but often there's less agency for the women seeking partners because their parents pretty much decide for them what their criteria are.
there's arranged and forced, they're completely different but people think it they're interchangeable.
I dunno if there's that hard a dichotomy, either, when you have the collective force of your entire culture and often economic and social coercion crushing down on your shoulders.
forced marriage is pretty obvious it's forced arranged marriage is more of "hey I know this family that has a girl/guy that's looking into getting married. let's arrange a meeting between y'all two and see each other." if they choose to get married, they got married by arrangement.
Okay. That's one interpretation. But what I'm saying is that the law's sense of what's "arranged" versus "forced" sometimes doesn't consider the broader and often violent social stress involved in what's ostensibly volitional.
For the law, forced means at pain of injury or death. The government can't intervene in your family emotionally torturing and threatening you with alienation and potentially destitution and homelessness if you don't agree to an arrangement.
I just wanted to clarify the semantical differences.
I see what you mean, some countries are like that and that completely needs to change, like bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan. nothing is done about it because it is "culture". my parents met through an arrangement and got their paperwork done within a week. (originally he wasn't going to marry her because he felt like she was too young, there was a 7 year age gap.) they've been (happily) married for 30 years. now, my father is a marriage counselor. When done properly, correct arranged marriages can really work out.
Oh, I absolutely agree.
I've known people whose marriages are so strong and passionate and loving you'd never have any inkling they hadn't known each other before their parents introduced them.
But I've also known people who are miserable enough to kill themselves or their spouse because their "arranged" marriage- to which they acceded by force of social pressure and tradition- was such a horror.
What's strange and ironic is that- either because of a real concern for personal liberty or being emboldened by the "fear" of being considered racist as an excuse for their actually racist apathy (cf. the UK's grooming scandals, where councils serially ignored complaints from Asian people about their own communities with that excuse)- many Western nations are actually worse at policing those subjectivities than ostensibly less "free" governments.
Expectations are different when your options are severely limited.
I wonder ( if this guy is even telling the truth that is) if maybe her father gave her a choice between two men and he was just the lesser of two evils as sad as that is.
And why does he sound proud to dress like shit? Is that an honorable thing among incels? I just dont get it.
This is exactly the dudes point. He thinks it's evil that first world women have 'unrealistic expectations' of men, his perfect world is where women have little choice and are more likely to want less desirable men.
One of the main assumptions of inceldom is that women have too much choice which makes them hypergamous, which you just implied honestly.
I don't know if I can agree with your statement honestly, does a limit of choices effect how attracted somobody is to someone else? It if does do we a do a disservice by having so many choices if you would be happier with a lesser partner if your choices were limited? Either way your posting incel logic, so spay you with the water bottle spritz spritz.
Maybe if incels devote their energy to spreading the truth of Allah they will become righteous
Oh no that poor girl
and cue a torrent of comments about her “”fucking chad”” 🙄 and him being a “” blue pill cuck”” for thinking otherwise from his .........”support group “
Eh but it is true. Look at India, plenty of fat ugly marry up because they have good jobs. Though in all fairness it can go both ways, most of the time it's some dude who couldn't get a decent date who insists of the virgin 'pure' girls
If true, fuck all that. I want to date women who are legitimately, freely stoked about me.
sorry boi, chad only
I have quite a few Pakistani and Turkish Muslim friends.
Talk about high expectations and standards. The man must be handsome and stinking rich if he wants the daughter's and family approval. One has spent €25k just on the wedding venue.
Pretty colorist too. I was nicknamed “kaloo” by the villagers which translates to “blacky” because I was the darkest in my family. Idek remember this but I was supposedly asking my grandma at 3 years old to give me a cream that would make me whiter. Punjabi genetics are weird though. My younger brother was born with blonde hair (now it’s brown) and white skin.
Of all the "isms" incels have trouble with we can add sectarianism, shame
But what if I want a nice CHRISTIAN girl to be forced to marry me??
Decent is a pretty big stretch....
I'm not 100% sure on how arranged marriages work but traditionally don't the parents pick a guy bc of his ability to be a good provider for their daughter?
So by incels own logic wouldn't this be "beta buxxing" and she's secretly dreaming of Chad the whole time? 🤔